


take the little victories (we'll be young forever)

by inmylife



Series: rookie girls collegeverse [2]
Category: ITZY (Band), SIXTEEN (TV)
Genre: (the joke is that i don't know myself you guys), Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Nonbinary Character, Other, Secret Crush, Trans Character, group chats, is it unrequited? i don't know you tell me, they/them pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 01:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18110636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmylife/pseuds/inmylife
Summary: Chaeryeong turns around and there is what appears to be a cis man leaning against the wall, sipping on a beer.“Who,” she asks, fairly incredulously, “are you.”“Yeonjun,” he says. “I go to Amherst.”“Amherst,” she scoffs under her breath. The rich-boy school. “You know that this is a dyke party, right?”





	take the little victories (we'll be young forever)

**Author's Note:**

> does this title have much of anything to do with 99% of the fic? nah. is it catchy and i'm using it anyway? yeah.

Chaeryeong stands in front of the mirror. It’s at an odd place in her dorm room, in the narrow entryway where the dorm room just starts turning into an actual room, and it’s been warped since she’d bought it at the beginning of the semester and makes her look rounder and… lumpier than she wants it to. 

 

Her dress is blue and satiny-looking. She knows she doesn’t need to get  _ that _ dressed up for a Delles party, but it’s her first Delles party since she’s realized she has a raging crush on Somi and so she feels like she needs to look prettier than usual. Maybe they’ll see her in a new light this way. Maybe the light will come through the windows just right and Somi will lay eyes on her and they’ll realize, how come they never saw Chaeryeong like this before? 

 

Yeah, right. 

 

**groupchat: prettiest kids out of taehong planning corp**

fellow lizard: is there anyone NOT going tonight

innie: me but i think it’s just me

innie: i dont understand why any of you would want to go to the delles EVER let alone when there’s a party

daehwi: you’ve been friends with us for how many years now innie i…… 

innie: chaeryeong didn’t always go to these! 

innie: come on we were the social anxiety crew,,, ur abandoning me

dude, you’re doing to umass anyhow, you’re seeing chris and them-all

enjoy the pvta

innie: fuck the pvta

fellow lizard: and FUCK the dsm!

daehwi: FUCK THE DSM!!!

fuck the dsm!

hey ryujin and/or lia do you wanna come over and Help Me With This Dress

daehwi: why not meeeeeee

choi lia: because you’re helping som instead and we all know it

somsom: ^ she’s not wrong 

daehwi : ok true!!! ilu somi babes 

choi lia: also fineeeee chaeryeong i will be right over!!! well... “right” over… i do live in dickinson after all

lifesaver. thank you lia! <3

 

Lia knocks on her door ten minutes later, her hair sparkling white from the snow aggressively melting into it. 

 

“So,” she says, slinging off her coat and tossing it over Chaeryeong’s desk chair. “You needed my help.” 

 

Chaeryeong makes a face. “I think what I really need is a pep talk,” she sighs. 

 

“Oh.” Lia nods. “Yeah. Somi.” 

 

Chaeryeong concurs. “Somi.”

 

“I mean they’ve been one of your best friends since you guys were really little, right? You and them and Hwi. Before Ryujin moved out there and you guys met me and Innie online and whatever.” 

 

“Yeah,” Chaeryeong confirms. 

 

Chaeryeong and Daehwi and Somi had been best friends since elementary school. It started with all three of them hero-worshipping Chaeryeong’s sister. Then they did middle school theatre together. Then Daehwi came out and then Somi did and then Chaeryeong within the span of a month and a half the summer before freshman year, and then Ryujin moved to town a year later and had what could almost be called a fling (and is only not called a fling because they were all fifteen when it happened) with Somi, and then Daehwi joined Tumblr and met Lia and Jeongin and added them to their group chat, and then all six of them ended up at the same so-called Marxist lesbian indoctrination camp in western Massachusetts. 

 

And then Chaeryeong was telling Linlin, a firstie in her hip-hop dance class, about Somi and Linlin had given her a long look and said, “you know you have a crush on them, right?” And Chaeryeong sat bolt upright in bed the next morning and called Ryujin at 8am because dammit, Linlin was right. 

 

Lia considers Chaeryeong for a long moment. “You know,” she says, “if it weren’t snowing outside, I’d drag you all the way back to Dickinson with me and force-feed you the Ghirardelli my aunt sent me because chocolate is the only thing my family wants to give me, apparently. But it’s cold as fuck-all outside and you’re niced up so I’m not going to make you do that - well, if you  _ really _ want my spite chocolate - anyway.” The older girl gets more serious. “I’m not going to tell you that it’s probably unrequited. You’re realistic, Chaeryeong, and you know that.”

 

She doesn’t think she knew how much she’d wanted Lia to tell her she  _ would _ have a chance until she said she didn’t. Her shoulders sag in. Lia notices, Chaeryeong is sure, but she doesn’t backtrack. 

 

“And it’s okay if they don’t like you. You know? Because either way you’re going to this Delles party in this amazing beautiful kickass dress, and these amazing heels that I know you know how to walk in without falling over, and your makeup looks  _ bomb _ , by the way. And people are gonna walk up to you and tell you how amazing you look. And someone else might ask you out, and you can say no. And maybe Somi will take a look at you and see what you see in them and maybe they won’t. Either way, you’re gonna kick ass and you’re gonna have a great time.” 

 

“I’m gonna kick ass and I’m gonna have a great time,” Chaeryeong repeats. 

 

Lia grins. “Have I sufficiently pep-talked you?” she asks. 

 

Chaeryeong nods. “Go home, go get ready. I’ll see you there.” 

 

Chaeryeong looks up at the ceiling of the Delles common room and remembers that there used to be a chandelier there. Apparently she knows, friend-of-a-friend, six-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon style, the person who broke it, because Anne Lee and Hyeongseo and possibly someone else she vaguely knows lived in this res hall last year and at least one of them was at the party where it had gotten broken, but she’s not sure which and she knows that neither of them would say who did it, not after everyone who lived in the dorm that semester already had to pay for it. 

 

“Do you recognize this song?” she asks Daehwi, who’s bopping away next to her - the music is fun to listen to, but she can’t place what language it’s in or the voice of the singer.

 

“It’s in Armenian,” he answers, still bouncing. Like that’s helpful to Chaeryeong, who is not majoring in anything related to languages. “I don’t know what it’s called though.” 

 

“Who is playing songs in  _ Armenian _ ,” she mutters. She’s sure she could figure out who made the party playlist if she did enough investigative whispering, but that would imply that she actually cared enough to figure it out. Knowing Daehwi he’d send the groupchat a link to the song at four in the morning regardless. 

 

She walks away, in search of… snacks? Somi? Anything to do that’s not stand awkwardly next to Daehwi while he enjoys himself and she doesn’t?

 

**direct message: innie**

you had the right idea with not going

i don’t know what i expected

how’s the pvta

it was hellish thanks for asking

thank u for texting though, i love chris but his friends are SO loud

might have to go hide in his dorm for a bit

chris has friends who aren’t respectful 24/7?

they’re not from home

i have not met these people

ooohh i might ask felix to come rescue me

you’d be valid and i’d support you

who’ll rescue ME though, all my friends are here or at umass

also my options are party or lonely-crying in my single

i mean i could come back

it’d give me an excuse to not lose my mind at blue wall

no don’t i’ll be fine lmao

i’ll make ryujin leave w me if i ever find her

 

Ryujin is nowhere to be found. Chaeryeong has been here for forty-five minutes and all she’s done is question other people’s music choices, text Jeongin, and avoid Somi (and by extension Daehwi as well). 

 

Someone pokes her in the shoulder, and she jumps before seeing it’s Ryujin. “My savior, oh my god,” she says.

 

“Someone brought their cis man here,” Ryujin says, wrinkling her nose. “He’s in the  _ bathroom _ .” 

 

“The one here?” Chaeryeong asks in a low voice. “Like in the Delles?” 

 

“Where else do you think?” Ryujin scoffs. “Now come here. I know you’re going to ask me to leave with you in about thirty seconds, and fine, but we’re doing pictures first.”

 

She takes Chaeryeong by the wrist and drags her over to near a window. It’s pretty out - the night sky is clear and starry, that much they can see through the glass, and the moon is almost full and reflecting off the hardened snow outside. 

 

“Oh, you look so good in this light, babes,” Ryujin says. “Give me your phone, I’m making you upload these to Instagram when we get back. Every time we drag you out of introvercy must be commemorated.”

 

Chaeryeong wants to tell Ryujin that introvercy isn’t a word, but she doesn’t actually care. “You look nice too,” she says instead, because Ryujin does. Her hair looks amazing and she’s got these bangles on that on anyone else would look cringey but because it’s Ryujin it somehow works. 

 

Ryujin just lights up. “Thank you!” she says cheerily. “Now smile.” 

 

So Chaeryeong does. She thinks hard about whoever brought their poor boyfriend into the Delles during a dyke party - because everyone on campus knows that the Delles are the gay parties and the Rockies are the straight ones - and it makes her laugh, real and genuine. 

 

Ryujin squeals. “You look so nice, Ryeong, holy fuck.” 

 

She raises her eyebrows. “I try.” 

 

They chat for a little bit about midterms and the latest dining hall abomination and the girl in Ryujin’s self-defense class who’s trying to talk her into joining a LARP, all while Ryujin poses for her own pictures (and drags Anne Kim over to take a photo of the two of them together). Then Chaeryeong looks over and notices Somi watching. 

 

“Ryujin,” she whispers. “Ryu…” 

 

“Go say hi, dumbass,” Ryujin says, pushing Chaeryeong. Ryujin is a useless friend. 

 

Somi’s hair is back in a vestigial ponytail, for the first time since they’d cut it right before the spring semester started. They’re wearing a black tee shirt and a black nylon jacket, and black jean shorts over these tights that are mostly sheer but with opaque polka dots. 

 

Hello, Chaeryeong is: a useless pansexual. 

 

“You look really nice,” they say. 

 

“Um,” responds Chaeryeong. How eloquent of her. “Yeah, you too. I like the… the polka dots.” 

 

Somi laughs. Chaeryeong wants to hide - but how could anyone expect her to form a coherent sentence right now? Half her brain is blaring PRETTY HUMAN and the other half is arguing about whether Chaeryeong should tell Somi she likes them. 

 

“Hey, Ryeong.” Somi says, suddenly serious. Chaeryeong startles. “Did I, uh. Do something wrong? The past couple weeks, you’ve been kind of…” 

 

Oh, no. Oh, god, no. 

 

How does she explain, to them, that it isn’t anything they’ve done - it’s her, it’s all her? She’s distancing herself because it feels weird, now, to look at her friend and think about kissing them, and it feels hopeless to entertain the possibility that they might like her back, and it feels too strange and too open to look at them longingly in front of people who aren’t Ryujin and Lia - namely, Daehwi, because he’s their best friend. She doesn’t really want anyone to know, to catch on, but at the same time whenever she’s with Ryujin and Lia she can’t shut up about them and how beautiful she thinks they are. Sometimes she wants to scream it across the lake, “I’m in love with Jeon Somi,” and sometimes she wishes she’d never told Ryujin and Lia at all and would much rather lock herself in a bathroom stall or the music building practice rooms and pine all by herself. 

 

God, this is so, so hard. Why couldn’t she just have been aro ace like Linlin. Why, why, why… 

 

“Ah, no, it’s not you,” she tries. “I’ve just been really out of it lately.” 

 

Somi seems convinced. “Oh, alright. Well… I miss you.” God it pains her to hear them say that. “Wanna get coffee sometime? One on one?” 

 

Chaeryeong is not brave. However, Chaeryeong is also not a terrible friend. 

 

“Sure, Som. I’d like that. Text me?” 

 

When Chaeryeong leaves, it's with her head held just a little higher. It's cold and she thinks she left her coat crumpled up in a windowsill, but Lia will notice and grab it for her. And she doesn't mind the cold, even though it rushes and bites at her skin. She pulls the bobby pins out of her hair one by one, relishing the way the wind pushes and pulls it. And she fishes her phone out of her bag and plays Katy Perry at full volume, without headphones, because sometimes you have to take the little victories. 

**Author's Note:**

> -they're all sophomores  
> -reminder that the summary is a cutscene that i couldn't cram in here  
> -the delles are the party dorm on my campus  
> -i thought lia was a 01 liner when i started this which is why she's in the gc and oh well i couldn't find a good replacement for her  
> -pls support somi when she debuts in may  
> -tell me how much i suck on twt @ohmyeverglow or tumblr @everykissbeginswith  
> -thanks to the kindergarten gc for inspiring this


End file.
